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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

i feel that i start to hate of living.. everyday, everytime i stay at home i feel so stressed. i cant even get peace for 1 day when i staying at home. i feel crazy and emo this few days. the only days i feel happy when i was outside. i really hope i can get my job soon. so i wont be staying at home when dear not free or i feel tired.. seriously.. i really get to hate staying at home.. althought sometimes will miss mummy cook food but i really hope to go out stay.. i'm already 20. i think it america more freedom? parents let them go whatever they want. everyday words come in my mind.. everyday irritating, annoying noises i heard everyday... i don't think this call family.. even relative houses i also don't feel like going.. too tired to see them proud face, rich face.. i sick of it.. i have a patetic family and relative.. friends? sometimes i not sure am i trusting them too much? maybe it is.. who is my good friend? i don't know.. maybe some.. those only come and go.. busy doing them own work, own studies. they have their life too..

i really tired... tired of living.. i feel lik crying maybe for no reason.. maybe i'm on my way turning crazy... i hope i will be alive for tml, next week, next month... maybe for years... i want peace... that why this few days i listen to music.. to relax myself alittle.. if not i nth to do.. i start to make a stubborn, irritating, quarrel with dear.. i gonna stop this...

everytime i keep things inside my heart, my mind.. i tink it out of memories... 1 day i gonna share some to dear and throw into bin...

i really hope to have peace... please...

`V I A N . A H G I R L ❤ J O N A T H A N . A H B O Y*

2:52 AM