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Saturday, May 16, 2009

it already one month didn post anything.. haha.. look like my blog gonna rot soon? haha.. not yet not yet... i posted my blog for YEARS!!! how can like that let it rot.. just now lazy to post, no time no post nia.. lols.. what am i doin now? i'm free now lohx.. so i post lohx.. haha.. what kind of person am i? i did asked myself.. i really dunno... even my dear also dunno what am i thinking... seriously, i really dunno what am i thinking.. i tink i this kind of person? dun wanna think, dun wanna bother.. this is what i am? i not sure.. ytd ming and dear asked me 1 qn, i really dunno how to ans, cause i really nvr tink about it.. what if 1 day i have 10 thousands dollar, what am i going to do? or maybe 100 thousands? i nvr think about it... i think if i got that money den think ba? i think it make them think that i somehow like NO TARGET!!!! i think this is what am i ba? dear also got asked me, you nvr worry of tml got any money to spend or to eat? hmmm.. seriously... i nvr think... am i avoiding myself? i dun even think that i advoiding of something.. so what for advoiding myself? my brain totally blank... e.g. studies... it make me interested at the first place... just that i dun even give up of study and continue to apply althought i cant get in.. nvm next year apply again and again.. i put quite a high hope in that at first.. but it keep making me disappointed.. maybe i really didn work very hard... hecked.. it over... maybe is this make me turn into like this? so dun wanna think too much... just see and do lohx... till today then i know i am this kind of person.. i know i not young anymore.. it time for me to tink... what to tink lehx? nvr really tink hard... dun wanna bother.. somehow my life already totally controlled by someone else.. from young... parents want us to study, what can we do? study lohx... till grow up... want me to study den study lohx.. after that.. find job liao.. den work lohx.. my life is like that? i cant believe it.. or maybe i will turn into like this is because of money problem ba? i want to learn other things.. but why i cant? parents dun haf that much of money... so i cant learn.. so i just hecked.. since cant learn what to do? cant lohx.. this is what i tink ba? as young want to learn piano... ended up? did i learn anything? NONE!!!! till grew up liao.. got tink of learning piano at the first place, knew that no money to learn.. althought work also dun haf that much of money to learn.. so hecked.. since cant learn what to do? dun learn... so till now.. dun wanna tink, dun wanna dream... only imaging.... after awhile it gone.. at least it make me feel abit happy than nothing.. seriously... there is lots of things i wan to learn in the past.. dunno how come... i totally lost! dun feel lik learning anything... i tink i really lose hope... my life now.. just spend happily can liao... dunwan to stressed myself.. dun wanna tink too much... just wan to spend with my love ones happily will do.. hate quarreling... hate being this cannot, that cannot.. just like my daddy and mummy always do that to me.. I HATE IT!!! now mostly is daddy.. at least mummy getting better.. but mummy now always said.. dun ask me.. ask ur dad... obviously mostly is negative.. i'm already 20!!! i become like that maybe part of it is because of them... i being controlled by them... asked i posted this... it make me sad... just sad... but mind totally blank... feel like my life was totally blank at a sudden... living is nothing to me.. what am i doin here? just die lohx... lols... if got my next life, i hope i wont be this kind of person.. at least.... part of my craziness can remain... haha.. that bring someone happy at least.. =)

THE END!!!!

`V I A N . A H G I R L ❤ J O N A T H A N . A H B O Y*

2:57 PM